Signs insecurity dating
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Over the years, Alex and Alli continue this vicious cycle until inevitability, Alli has enough and dumps him.
Eventually, both Alex and Alli become extremely close. Because of his response, Anxious Alex’s anxiety causes him to panic, to feel insecure – like the world is ending.The Anxious Alex feels the need to fix the relationship and compromises to the desires of the Avoidant.These types of toxic relationships feel very one-sided from the anxious person’s perspective.He works hard to return to the initial, unsatisfactory status quo of the relationship and he tries to compromise more of his needs in hopes to make things work.Being Lost in the Sea of Love washes any hope of a better life down the drain.As in the case of Alex and Alli, it is often times impossible to meet each other’s needs.
In the typical trap, the anxious partner surrenders and accepts the rules imposed by the avoidant.This is all an illusion, of course, but Alex’s biological and emotional luggage is creating such intense emotions that logic doesn’t exist. Alex’s dire need to resolve this emotional conflict causes him to use bat-shit crazy behavior.This flood of emotion motivates Alex to behave in ways to get both Alli and him back up to that amazing intimacy high. Sadly, the emotional frustration from Alex’s crazy behavior and Avoidant Alli’s dire need for space causes Alli to react in hostile ways. She may tell him that she isn’t going to talk, text or see him for 3-4 days. All he needed was for Avoidant Alli to get close to him, but the more intense the withdrawal, the more intense Anxious Alex’s thoughts are about making up for “his” mistake. Due to Alex’s narrowed perception on rekindling the relationship, Alex is willing to compromise his needs to keep the partnership working.Puppy love had taken over, and they adored each other.As the months passed, Anxious Alex wanted to spend more and more time with Avoidant Alli.In my relationship prior to my health incident, I’ve never felt such an amazing high when my Avoidant partner finally came closer to me.